i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
