is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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