Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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