i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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