May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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