He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize