What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
