if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
