that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish life had little blips of pornography
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
