that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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