uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
