Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
