# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
