i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
