I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
