it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
