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i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize