Well douche your snatch and let's go!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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