so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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