y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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