my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
MIDGETS
????
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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