shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize