Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
