Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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