So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
