I wish life had little blips of pornography
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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