you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also, beer. Big fan.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
