And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I bet he comes in French.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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