you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
