I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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