Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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