Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
