my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize