No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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