PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
