thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
