Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
