Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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