he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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