Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

I should injure you considerably.

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(858): View more from California

i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see

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(214): View more from Texas

No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"

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(971): View more from Oregon

:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"

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(352): View more from Florida

Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands

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(585): View more from New York

"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."

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(970): View more from Colorado

Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.

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