How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
