At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
