Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
