dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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