If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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