I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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