If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
