Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
the night ended with taco bell and tears
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
