Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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