do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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