Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think a kid would responsible me up
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
