What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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