i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
