is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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