If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
