we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
