seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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