Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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