Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he thought i was a dude.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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