my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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