i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
